Despite the majority of my friends being baby-free, they had a surprising skill for taking care of Jamey and I through the pregnancy and at the hospital. I got a lot of questions (which I had no clue how to answer) on what they should do for us in the hospital. Now that I have a better idea, I thought I would share some of the best things and worst things to do for your friends whose life has completely changed.
DO
Bring a basket of snacks. The mom can't eat, but the lunch that we had optimistically packed for Jamey was long gone (and shared with my mom) by early evening when we had the baby. Jamey's mom brought some fantastic snacks which were lifesaver to Jamey and I later on in the stay as well. For the mom, pack good high fiber choices. Her bowels will have to get moving one day and the sooner the better. Apples, bananas, nuts and whole grain crackers work well.
Bring meals to the new parents. Hospital food is still hospital food and is only provided to the mom who will watch others jealously as they eat the delicious offerings from the outside. My mom brought lifesaving coffee (yes, I know that violates the bowel moving philosophy, but nothing had ever tasted as good as the first completely guilt free cup of coffee in months) and breakfast every morning. Evan and Yvonne went out and got us Brio's and a bottle of fine wine one evening which was a welcome distraction to waiting for time to feed Ruby.
Take Cues on When to Visit Everyone seemed to show up at the perfect time and leave before there was ever any need to say we were tired. I was so impressed by that. We had a slightly different hospital stay since we actually had no baby in our room to care for. Ruby had jaundice and had to sit under the lights. Having friends stop by kept us from staring at the clock waiting for our next chance to see her. If you are bringing small children, save your visit for Day 2 of the hospital stay, not the delivery (more on that later) Again, if we had the baby in the room, I'm not sure what it would have been like so you just have to know your friends and be ready to not be offended if they seem tired.
DON'T
Deliver Flowers - This is actually a hard one for me to put in the don't column. I got two absolutely beautiful arrangements which did brighten the room and still look beautiful in my house a week later. However, it is a pain to get those home especially if you get multiples (arrangements not babies, if you have multiple babies, nothing can help you). It may be best to send them to the house once you know the couple and baby is getting discharged.
Bring your 2 year old to the delivery - I know you want your child to experience the miracle of life, but a 1-2 day old baby is still new enough. No reason for the kids to come into the delivery right after mom is finished being sewn up. My energy levels were zero and having to tell people that a 2 year old is jumping up on the warming incubator the baby is in and about to turn it over is stress you don't need. Honestly, they won't remember this hospital visit anyway in the long run. Why not wait a day? In the 2-year old's defense, she did as good as a two year old possibly could do, Unfortunately, she was promised by mom that she could hold the baby. Since I had only held her 30 seconds, there was NO WAY I was passing her around until Jamey and I got to see her and let it sink in. Maybe the second time someone has a baby it would be ok. Maybe... BTW, some friends brought their kids Day 2 and it was just fine.
Side Note: Some people are REALLY into the bows on the doors at the hospital. Consider it the very first display of trying to outparent your neighbor. Jamey and I did not care at all and were the only door in the hopital with nothing. If you think your friends will care about this popularity contest, by all means keep that in mind as a good gift and add it to your DO list.
So for those of you still baby free, do what is best for your friends and you can't go wrong. Then go home to your cat, pick its poo out of the sand and realize humans are some of the strangest creatures on the planet.
6 comments:
Best. Blog illustration. Evar.
She totally smelled like a yeast roll, btw.
Um, I hope this isn't a secret blog b/c your family isn't doing a very good job of keeping it secret if it is.
Awesome and useful post. LOVE the graphic.
If it was secret, I wouldn't have cropped the delivery picture ;-)
Stacy,
I am in total shock and awe that you have the wherewithall to actually start a blog in what can only be described as the most turbulent, happy, crazy, and hectic time of your life (at least that was how I felt!). Good for you! By the way, my baby smells a little like cinnamon, but I think that could be because I ate Cinnamonster cinnamon rolls every day of my pregnancy. Your daughter is beautiful by the way!
Andrea
Congrats Stacy. Ruby is beautiful! It is nice that friends are still allowed into the hospital in the South. Only immediate family (ie Husband, daughter, son, mother) are usually allowed up here.. although my brother snuck me in for a few minutes. Just think a whole year of 'relaxation' with Ruby. Gotta love maternity leave eh. Enjoy. Looks like Toronto, London England (work) are in my future for travel and then St Maarten in October (vacation). Will have to see about maybe another southern adventure.
Thanks Andrea! The blog actually helps organize the confusion. If something overwhelming happens I think "That will be a good post that others may benefit from" And it gives me something to compose in my head while I feed her late at night.
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